Holden: “Men will not be permitted to go off the reservation” – Axes 4WD range

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Iconic Australian brand Holden has announced that it will be ceasing sales of all 4WD vehicles in its range.

Tom Reynolds

The move is an additional response to the controversy surrounding a Holden advertisement being displayed on a YouTube video supporting the MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) movement.

A Holden spokesperson explained this move in detail.

“Holden understand that the MGTOW movement is all about supporting men who want to disengage from our anti-male nanny state, and the one sided demands of modern women. Jumping in a 4X4 and heading off road is an all-too effective way of doing just that, even if only for a day.

Our Colorado and Trailblazer 4WD ranges reflected the values of freedom, autonomy and masculinity. These values are shared by the MGTOW movement. Such values are wholly incompatible with Holden’s desired brand identity.  Therefore effective immediately our 4WD products will be withdrawn from sale.”

New direction for Holden

Intel Free Press

To fill the newly created gap in their product range Holden has commissioned a new politically correct concept, code-named “Slot Car”. Leveraging GPS technology this car will ensure men can only drive to female endorsed locations.  Destinations such as work, home and the supermarket are in. Heading out bush or down to the local pub? Unacceptable! The on-board computer will immediately pull-over and notify the man’s wife or girlfriend.

No wife or girlfriend? No problem. Female dependents and children will assigned to any unencumbered men under a proposed partnership with the Department of Human Services.

Finally to consolidate Holden’s new politically correct, female-endorsed identity, its slogan will change from “Let’s Go There” to “You’ll go where I tell you to go”.

 

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Apache
Apache sexually identifies as an attack helicopter and is an unabashed promoter of the trans-vehicle rights. Apache wishes to promote love and equality through challenging people to check their vehicle privilege, with the helpful encouragement of its 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles.
  • Total bullshit – like most material posted on this website. The Colorado and Trailblazer are both 4WD and both central to Holden’s operation. This also fails as satire. Genuine satire, political or otherwise, is clever and funny. This is neither.

    • JB

      Never mind, there’s some puppy videos on youtube.

    • Wide Awake

      Maybe if you are so disappointed in the content provided by Our XYZ you should cease visiting. Unfortunately we don’t have trigger warnings for narrow minded cretins

    • Deplorable Steve

      Bob, don’t make me use the black art of extreme poetry on you. I’ll do it, don’t think I won’t…

      • Olaf Koenders

        It’s pretty silly of him to use 1735099 as his password for banking, Youtube and login for his child porn membership simultaneously.

    • Old Fart

      Well fuck off then and go read Fairfax.

      • Bikinis not Burkas

        Can he be put on a bud list?

    • Deplorable Steve
      • Olaf Koenders

        Doesn’t this guy adjust the headlights for Holden..?

    • entropy

      And yet as trolling, which is just about the lulz, it was quite successful.

      Because triggering cucks is almost always funny.

      • Wide Awake

        I thought Numbers was just trying his hand at Marxist satire. In the interest of virtue signalling it lost all humour.

    • Sir Cumference

      At ease Bob.
      Maybe it’s time for another coloring book to calm the mind.
      It’s been a while since jelly belly in the jungle.

  • entropy

    I, too, sexually identify as an attack helicopter.

    I flew for The People’s Republic of Kekistan in the Great Meme War of 2016, dropping my hot, sticky load in service of the God Emperor and the Great Prophet, Pepe. Alas, I was wounded in the Battle of Gangnam where I threw a rotor blade implant while killing needlessly from above, and now I can’t get it up.

    As a disabled gunship and a Kekistani refugee, I am constantly victimised by racist heliphobes who tell me I’m retarded, but I know I’m beautiful and they are just jealous of my racial superiority.

    Peace be upon you, brother, and may the gracious, merciful Kek bring eternal terror and damnation to His enemies.

  • Karen Dwyer

    This ideology is just the flip side of the heavily tarnished coin that is radical Feminism.