Today Melbourne, soon to be known as Melburnistan, welcomed an effigy of the conquerors of our racist, sexist civilisation. Echoing the ancient practice of bringing effigies of conquering gods into a vanquished city, our xenophilic elite organised for the 5-metre high inflatable image to be sailed up the Yarra. It will be housed for one week at the Immigration Museum, otherwise known as the Museum of Conquest.
Some evil bigots have been complaining that the effigy shows how cucked we’ve become, reminding us why it’s so important that we are conquered and the heritage of Western civilisation eradicated forever. We must do everything we can to appease the gods of diversity and tolerance. We don’t want to be Nazis, do we?