Scientist predicts angry summer: “Socialism is our only hope”


After shivering through its coldest winter in 26 years, a professor says Melbourne now faces its warmest summer in 33 years. The academic stated that although regular predictions over the last few years of angry Australian summers have generally fallen flat, people should not become complacent about climate change, because the science is settled:

“Computer models prove that we are heading for a summer of record high temperatures. I know we were wrong last time, but I am sure that we will be right eventually, especially if we keep saying every year that this summer is going to be hot, surely we have to be right sooner or later.”

The scientist went on to say that although the world has not warmed for nearly 20 years, it is important to remember that climate change is still out of control, and our only hope of giving ourselves any chance of survival is to introduce socialism:

“Obviously, we cannot let undeveloped countries modernise to the extent that we have in the West. If we do, the earth is screwed. The only solution is to bribe them with trillions of dollars to keep their people poor and save the planet. In the long run, this will be better for every one.”

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