Sydney Morning Herald says it hopes to one day write its own satire

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e830b90c2afc083ecd0b470de7444e90fe76e6d211b3174393f5c4_640_the-shovelThe XYZ has scored an exclusive interview with an unnamed source at the Sydney Morning Herald, who says that after Thursday’s hit piece on Cory Bernardi which it published via The Shovel, it hopes to one day be good enough to write satire itself:

“We’ve been working really, really hard to think of funny jokes and stuff.  And that’s no mean feat, given that we have so many femmos and vegans working here.  We think it is really cool that SBS has been using the funds it gets from regular Australians to write satire attacking only conservative politicians, so we have been thinking, you know, maybe we should get government funding too.  We’ve been leaking money like a siv, so we think we deserve to get free money.”

When asked for comment, an unnamed XYZ editor had little time for the aspirations of the sinking SMH:

“Look, I don’t have a journalism degree.  I work full time.  I don’t get paid to do this s—.  But anybody can write satire, it’s a piece of p—.  The Sneering Morning Herald doesn’t need to “share” articles from the Shovel.  All they need to do is copy the exact same format of the the Shovel, but instead of doing what I’ve been doing for the last year and a half – replace jokes made at the expense of conservatives with jokes made at the expense of “progressives,” then deliver it deadpan – they just have to keep it as is, and keep it between 200 and 300 words.”

It’s your XYZ.

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David has studied history and political science at Melbourne University. His thesis was written on how the utilisation of Missile Defence can help to achieve nuclear disarmament. His interest in history was piqued by playing a flight simulator computer game about the Battle of Britain, and he hopes to one day siphon the earnings from his political writings into funding the greatest prog-rock concept album the world has ever seen.