Would alien invaders ever #changethedate?


It’s 2218 and you’re still alive.

That’s because you’re one of the lucky few who survived The Arrival.

We all Aborigines now

Many didn’t. Most died from disease. Some were killed when they tried to resist.

But now the ones who survived have spaceships!

Thanks aliens

And artificial life extension, interplanetary travel, flying cars, perfect social order and milk that tastes like real milk.

And mech suits!

Totally worth it

It’s pretty damn awesome, wouldn’t you say? Thousands of years of evolution leapfrogged in an instant. Sure, it wasn’t easy, but neither is thousands of years of evolution. Think of all the suffering, hardship and bloodshed those aliens’ ancestors went through to get them to that stage.

The difficulties of us humans in making the transition pale in comparison. What a blessing!

Now I know, some of you will be feeling the comparison between the First Fleet and aliens is unfair. But think about it.

A stick…

It's really just a bent stick

is to an 18th century sailing ship…

First Fleet ships

what your phone…

Apple iPhone

is to an intergalactic spaceship.

Totally worth getting colonised.

In fact, when you think about it, the difference is greater. But let’s be charitable.

Darth did nothing wrong
The Ewoks could have had star destroyers.

Perhaps an alien disclosure is the only thing that will make these neurotic feminist land whales shut the hell up. Those chicks at the pussy hat march would really lose their shit.


It’s probably outlandish to think of aliens arriving any time soon. What is far more likely is the AI singularity; the moment when advanced AI goes live with a network sufficient to enable it to overtake humans in cognitive capacity.

Would our AI overlords whip themselves into frenzies of guilt over their innate superiority to us?

From what we’ve seen of AI bots so far, it doesn’t seem likely.


Can't wait for the singularity tbh fam

I’m looking forward to the AI singularity tbh fam.

Would the aliens put us in zoos?

Would they expect us to be their equals, and blame their own bigotry when we so obviously weren’t?

Would they have us on their interdimensional talk shows to perform our primitive music?

Who would perform our Welcome to Country ceremonies?

Cultural appropration

Would they give us land rights and lavish handouts, when all it would do is make us more entitled and less grateful?


Would they have their very own George Soros funding such revolutionary treason?

Hillary so gross

Would they tolerate mixed-species individuals who look completely like aliens shaking them down for more and more free gibs every year?


Would they put up with self-hating, opportunist aliens using the grievances of humans to advance their own careers?

Would they use money taken from the alien population to fund propaganda for a human uprising?

Then why the hell do we?

Expecting super-advanced aliens to feel sorry for bringing us into the galactic community would be ridiculous. They’d have to be some pretty weak-willed aliens to fall for it.

If we do end up conquered by aliens or enslaved by AI, the worst possible strategy we could follow would be to take on a victim mentality and whine that our rulers owe us. Not only does it make you a whiny loser bitch, it steals your will to endure. It makes you pathetic.

The strategy we should follow would be to steal their superior technology, adapt it to our needs, rebuild our communities and eventually grow strong enough to rebel and form our own breakaway civilisation. The only alternative is to become pets; human Shih Tzus who perform for the amusement of our masters.

And that’s not a dignified role for any human being.

Let me help you virtue-signal