Australia’s Eurovision shame: Is Jessica Mauboy not diverse enough?


Eurovision Australia has responded to Australia’s shock loss in the Eurovision Diversitython by announcing a ‘root and branch re-evaluation process’, to explore ways in which Australia can ‘better showcase its incredible diversity’ in future contests. A spokesperson for Eurovision Australia has conceded that the biggest reason for our national humiliation was ‘complacency’:

‘I think everybody just assumed that all Jessica Mauboy had to do as a woman of colour, as an Aboriginal woman of colour no less, was to just turn up, bang a few sticks together and walk home with the prize. What we failed to account for was the fact that Europe has been deeply enriched in recent years, and its entrants reflected this newfound diversity. What this means is that we will have to up our game in future years if we are to compete on diversity criteria. And ultimately, it shows that we as a society still have a long way to go.’

The fact that Australia has fallen behind the rest of the world in terms of its diversity were highlighted by the comments of the kimono-wearing Eurovision winner, Netta Barzilai of Israel:

“I am so happy. Thank you so much. Thank you for supporting diversity.”

Australia’s spokesperson stated that Australia intends to follow the example of Israel as the most diverse democracy in the Middle East, and believes that we can indeed learn much from the city of Jerusalem, a city which has experienced cultural enrichment for millennia.

One whistleblower has disputed Eurovision Australia’s claim that the diversity of the Eurovision contestants came as a surprise. Speaking to The XYZ in exchange for a week’s supply of Twisties, ze claimed that ze had raised zer concerns weeks out from the competition, but that Jessica Mauboy has been ‘quite resistant’ to having her leg amputated to improve her diversity points.

Entertainment media appear to have reached a consensus that rather than Mauboy losing points because at the age of 28 she is looking ‘a little frumpy’, it is the fact that as she is still reasonably healthy, has long flowing hair and wears revealing party dresses, she is confirming to a cis-heteronormative archetype. Sources agree that the next contestant will need purple hair and will sing about rape, at the very least.

And she’ll need to be fat.

  • Repeal fake marriage

    Cringworthy stuff by Israeli fatty.

  • 9x19parabellum

    1. Australia should not be in the Eurovision. They should be as far away as possible from the EU.
    2. Aboriginal cannot compete for diversity brownie points when the standard established is the bearded lady.
    3. I don’t watch the contest, but if I did would support the Ukrainian and former Soviet countries because they’re the only ones that still appreciate natural feminine girls.
    4. The leftie MSM are parasites.

  • W. Hunter

    EU is a poisoned chalice, why sup from it ?

  • entropy

    Eurovision went full #MeToo.

    Hosted by four women who couldn’t launch a successful joke between them, and won by an Israeli man-hater, so fat she doesn’t have a neck, singing: “I’m not your toy, you stupid boy”.

    We already knew that heavy vehicles aren’t toys.

    As for Mauboy, the first thing she said was how ‘deadly’ it was to be there. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case and Islamic terrorists let us all down once again.

  • SG

    Our “diversity” record so far:
    2015 – Guy Sebastian (Malaysian / Portugese) – 5th
    2016 – Dami Im (Korean) – 2nd
    2017 – Isaiah Firebrace (Aboriginal) – 9th
    2018 – Jessica Mauboy (Indonesian / Aboriginal) – 20th

    I’m getting the impression there are no talented white people in Australia.

  • Al L

    Every Australian entrant since 2015 has been a person of colour. Old hacks in a competition that is supposed to uncover new talent. Our virtue signalling judges who send these representatives, are out of touch.

  • Craig

    I can’t believe Harvey Weinstein in drag won the eurovision contest. Such talent.

    I know deep in my heart that Australia should enter the Skaf boys once they get out of prison, of course they’ll need transvestite surgery first, the diversity would be a sure winner… Signing about the joys of mass gang rape and murder…

    • W. Hunter

      Skaf rapists. Typical Lebanese scum. I hope they die in captivity.

  • Noachideous

    Modern day Eurovision ?…… A puke worth sewer of kosher fkn filthe.

    Itz easy to lean conservative when you look to see how far we’ve fallen…..

    The ascendency of the umentionables always results in the hunting down of, then filthefication of innocence….. in all its gentile forms.

  • W. Hunter

    It was all over….when the fat lady sang…..

  • 9x19parabellum
  • gwallan

    Had a listen to Mauboy. Typical dime a dozen girly pop song. Indistinguishable from a million others.

  • lcharmony

    Who gives a RATS A@#E!!