Muslim Centrefold Breaks Internet

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2108660511_b1c7cea011_HijabA female Muslim entrepreneur has recently featured in a Playboy article, in which she was interviewed about her goal of becoming a news anchor, and describes herself as a “shameless heartbreaker.” She also posed for a photoshoot wearing a hijab and hip sneakers, with a backdrop of edgy graffiti.

Naturally, internet chat-boards have been overwhelmed by eager men, and women, discussing what goodies could possibly lie underneath, thanks to an outfit that has been positively guaranteed to excite. As one fapper enthused, I love a woman who dresses conservatively and doesn’t show any skin. It makes you respect them, while simultaneously making your fantasies about what you would like to do to them ever more degraded.

Sources inside Playboy informed The XYZ that “Obviously, this is just the first step in a series of steadily raunchier and raunchier photoshoots and videos. There is a lot we can do along the way, particularly regarding the strategic use of jilboobs, before we reach full-frontal, spread-eagled nudity.” However, sources remained tight-lipped, so to speak, about whether she would feature in toy, lesbian, or group sex videos.

Family members told The XYZ that they could not be happier. “My sister has always been by far the biggest slut in the neighbourhood. So for her to reach the pinnacle, the place where it all started, is a real achievement. We’re all rooting for her.”

Back on the boards, two hot topics dominate the conversation: firstly, what she will look like downstairs, and whether it will all still be there; and secondly, the almost unanimous consensus that, no matter how hard-core she goes, that she retain the hijab, following the highest principle which underpins the porn industry – always leave something to the imagination.

Photo by Ranoush.

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David has studied history and political science at Melbourne University. His thesis was written on how the utilisation of Missile Defence can help to achieve nuclear disarmament. His interest in history was piqued by playing a flight simulator computer game about the Battle of Britain, and he hopes to one day siphon the earnings from his political writings into funding the greatest prog-rock concept album the world has ever seen.