Swedish Sword attack: Australian Muslim community calls for more genuine dialogue

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5615Update:

In a dramatic turn of events, after initially refusing to accept responsibility for the attack when it appeared the murders were carried out by a Muslim, the Australian Muslim community has now accepted responsibility for the attack, now it appears that the murders were carried out by a white Nazi.

In breaking news, the murder of one teacher and the wounding of several students by a masked swordsman in Sweden has led to immediate calls by Australia’s Muslim community for the Swedish government to engage in more genuine dialogue with the Swedish Muslim community.

‘It is clear, without knowing anything at all about the incident, that this attack could have been avoided if the Swedish government and the Swedish people had spent more time talking to the Swedish Muslim community, not about them. Clearly, Western foreign policy has led to violence against Western interests in as peaceful and democratic a country as Sweden, which should tell us just how arrogant Western foreign policy is.’

The Australian Muslim community was also at pains to pin the blame for this attack on ‘various violent extremisms,’ both within Australia, and within Sweden itself.

‘It is obvious that this type of violence against Western interests does not occur without provocation from violent extremisms within a society. Violence against Western interests has occurred in Sweden, therefore, it is logical to assume that violent extremisms exist within Sweden itself.

‘The Swedish government should act immediately to wipe out these violent extremisms. It should do so by enacting stronger mandatory inclusive language regulations, along the lines of that which currently exists in Australia.’

When asked for his thoughts on the tragedy, President Obama stated that he ‘couldn’t give a rat’s ass.’

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David Hiscox
David has studied history and political science at Melbourne University. His thesis was written on how the utilisation of Missile Defence can help to achieve nuclear disarmament. His interest in history was piqued by playing a flight simulator computer game about the Battle of Britain, and he hopes to one day siphon the earnings from his political writings into funding the greatest prog-rock concept album the world has ever seen.