Viewer Poll: How should Australia expel Yassmin if she comes back?

Not an Aussie. From Twitter.

Yassmin Abdel-Magied has been expelled from the United States. Well, they refused her entry, but expelled sounds cooler.  Or even “cast out”.

From KnowYourMeme.

I thought when a rapping female Iranian vegan animal rights campaigning yoga instructor shot up YouTube but missed, it would remain the funniest thing that has happened this century for at least a month, but hey, I’m not complaining.

That feeling you have, right now, it’s called joy.

The XYZ has obtained exclusive footage of the moment Australia’s favourite Muslim ingrate touched down:

“Despite my Australian passport”. Thing is, she’s not an Australian. So, next time she tries to come back, we here at The XYZ humbly suggest to the Australian government that we follow the lead of our American friends and send her packing, back to an Islamic country, like, say, England.

The only question left is how exactly we do this. That’s where you come in, dear reader. We have provided a helpful list of fun ways to expel Yassmin. Enjoy:

How should Yassmin Abdel-Magied be expelled from Australia if she tries to come back?

  • Catapult (50%, 330 Votes)
  • Ejector seat of an F-18 Hornet (25%, 164 Votes)
  • Put her in a canoe and give her one paddle (16%, 102 Votes)
  • Chased by an emu army (9%, 61 Votes)

Total Voters: 657

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It’s your XYZ.

  • Repeal fake marriage

    Catapult. Definitely. But tarred and feathered first.

    • Ron Mortimer

      I too am a big fan of catapult based expulsion systems. Must not let tar and feathers stick to system….but even if it does it would still be amusing.

    • John Sheppard

      Yep I agree, there is something satisfyingly old school about a catapult.

    • Ralphy

      Nasa has an interplanetary one now. That should just about do it!

  • Catapult is rightly leading the pack, she should be sent back over the wall.

  • W. Hunter


    I have approached Elon Musk and he suggested strapping Yassmin Abled Magpie (and an angry Emu) into a prototype Space X Rocket turbo catapult.

    Destination ?

    Middle of the Sun.

    • John Sheppard

      Nope, to the blackness of space, just like her heart.

  • Razorback

    So, next time she tries to come back, we here at The XYZ humbly suggest to the Australian government that we follow the lead of our American friends and send her packing, back to an Islamic country, like, say, England.
    Hahahahah…nearly pissed myself.

  • John Sheppard

    Turns out she was denied entry (not deported which suggests you had entered and then been removed) because she was trying to come in on a visitor visa, and she was doing a paid event which is in breach of the visitor visa restrictions. So they did what they would have done with anyone else in that situation and denied her entry.

    So if she actually knew how to get the correct visa for entry into the US, it wouldn’t have been an issue. But given her default victim status, this is always going to be because she is a Muslim.

    Surprised to see this admission from the Guardian too!!

  • Grant Summers

    David, it’s uncanny how you are able to encapsulate my feelings towards this narcissistic leech with such ease.
    She actually thought she could waltz freely around the western world, slagging us and our most sacred institutions as she went. God bless America for showing her otherwise.

    • David Hiscox

      Cheers Grant, and thank you. I am finding I am getting better at getting to the heart of the matter.

  • Paul Thompson

    I’m “old-school”. Tar, feathers and a rail.

  • LadyMoonlight

    Catapult wouldn’t send her far enough. An ejector seat of an F18-Hornet, on the other hand, if it was flown high enough and there was no parachute attached to the seat…now, that might work!

  • Harry Archibald Tuttle

    Herberg, sounds like Jewish name to me and given the hate Muslims have for Jews the officer erred on the side of caution. the only mistake was not sending her to Sudan, her true home country…

  • Miz Aris

    The ejection from the Hornet would be soooo much more permanent than any of the other methods offered.

  • PaulMurrayCbr

    If she’s Sunni, deport her to Iran; if Shia, to Saudi Arabia. She would learn a lot about her precious religion of peace.

    • Tristan Jones

      She is a Sunni, so Saudi Arabia she must be sent to. There she will get called “Abed” (The Arabic N word) quite a fair bit.

      • A deplorable NNYer

        Also the same word for slave! They lure in Africans, with promises of good earning. They they take away their passport, pay them much less than what they were told that they would be paid. Then they are stuck there with no way to get home.

        • Tristan Jones

          Black African slavery existed in the Middle East for such a long time. So Black Africans came to be called ‘abeed’ or slave in Arabic. Ayaan Hirsi Ali said that she and her siblings were called that when she lived in Saudi Arabia as a child.

          • A deplorable NNYer

            I just got back from UAE. They exploit black workers there a lot. It is not slavery, it is pretty close to slavery!

  • unpaidpundit

    Target is a major retailer in the U.S. It’s astonishing that they would want to associate themselves with her.

  • ElvenPegasister

    Hornets are expensive, and I don’t think she’s worth it. I’m torn between the canoe and the emu army.

    But England doesn’t need any more Muslims! Let’s clean up the mother country too, or at least not make it worse.

  • Jonathan

    Deport the sow into the atmosphere, with Deveny.

  • Tracker Scout

    She made one stupid comment and the people voted her out of a job. They will do it again if the need arises. I personally dont worry a wet week about her, she is just a smart arse that snivels when she doesnt get her way. If she gets a bit smart again, we may have to lick her lips and stick her to the outside window of a Boeing 747 till hell freezes it over.

  • Old habits die hard.