The Wit and Wisdom of Clementine Ford

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Piggentine Pig.

As the hate golem of Australian Media, Clementine Ford, centres attention back on herself by rage quitting her day job, the question has to be asked, is Clementine a tad stupid?

Well…

Ummm…

Yeah…

This could be a short article.

Clementine certainly has shown little evidence to disprove this claim in the past, as her collection of witty insults clearly demonstrate. Her default tactic in attempted story based wit is similar in style to two BFF’s laughing at each other while recalling how a guy had attempted to talk to them the previous Saturday night and they had just ignored him (so funny), only with more swearing. A lot more swearing.

Now while the successful use of a Precision F-Strike, or indeed a Cluster F-Bomb, or both at once can feel, well, let’s be honest here, Totally Awesome, it is also pretty low on the belittling spectrum. Calling someone something Not Safe For Work usually only gets your immediate toadies to smile, while a truly cutting insult has the biting poetry to it that can when delivered make everyone in the room laugh.

Such an insult would be so conversation ending that unless the victim had their own rapier sharp wit on hand with which to fashion a reply they would be faced with only two choices. Either smile and attempt meekly to laugh along, or using a literal rapier, end the conversation by sticking it through the front of their skull. Laugh THAT one off, Poo Head!

(Fun fact – Real rapiers rarely carried an edge at all and could at best scratch as a slashing and cutting weapon. What they did have was a small cross section and a long blade, small enough that when thrust into the head with the full body weight of a lunging wielder behind the weapon it was absolutely capable of punching straight through the skull, ruining the brain, and killing the opponent. So if any reader is ever faced with a person brandishing a rapier, remember to duck.)

The problem with trying to use a quick wit is that by definition you need to be a pretty fast thinker, following the conversation closely and instantly processing and turning any offered openings. You need to be pretty smart.

Wit in its written form is a tad easier. The wielder has longer to select words and can take advantage of this to construct a true verse of discourteous mocking insolence. Easier, but still needing an understanding of language and a few spare yet motivated brain cells. To be generous, Clementine MAY have this skill, but even a casual glance at her Twit outpourings suggest that if she does, she is definitely being very restrained in using it.

So with things not looking great for her intellectual reputation, Clementine doubled down with one of the more stupid career moves ever by not only rage quitting her current main source of income, but rage quit her current main source of income while burning her bridges and then for good measure mining the river banks, poisoning the entire river and dropping a few nukes.

Brave…

Okay, like they say, bravery and stupidity are often the same thing, but out of politeness let’s stick with Brave for the time being.

However, we at XYZ do feel a mild desire to spell things out for young Clementine in regards to changing jobs. First up, when things start to go bad with the boss, never quit. If you quit you are making their job a lot easier. If they sack you then you have more power with the HR department. You may not actually have any entitlements, but at least someone will have considered the term ‘Unfair Dismissal’ before handing you your Don’t Come Monday.

If you do feel the need to quit – and yes, sometimes your job isn’t the best you could get – then make sure you are financially stable first. The most realistic way to do this is have another job lined up first. A cruel truth in the world is that people are always more attractive when they are already taken. No one wants to give a job offer to someone six months unemployed who probably needs retraining when they can head hunt some bright go getter from another company who is up to date in the industry and can hit the ground running. Not only does looking for work before quitting help maintain your cash flow, it actually makes you more employable.

Finally, and most importantly, do NOT walk into the boardroom in the middle of a management meeting and leave a steaming organic deposit in the middle of the table. Or if you must, at least take your shoes off first, you are not at home now thank you very much.

Not only is your industry very small, but thanks to the left wing globalist agenda, it is very small in multiple timezones. The simple act of moving to a new town where no one knows you is no longer an option.

While a positive reference may not be forever, good luck in ever living down a bad one. Do not tell your bosses exactly what you think of them. Do not declare exactly what you think of your ex-company, and, unless you either plan a complete career change or are about to marry into wealth, do not state that your entire industry is irredeemably rooted.

And while you are not doing all these things, absolutely do not do them via public social media, because that would be really stupid.

Still, we are sure that a long term professional like Clementine does know exactly what she is doing, and if worst comes to worst in her career she can always learn to code.

We’re Your XYZ.

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Zeitungsdunkel is an engineering professional who firmly believes in the clear separation between church, state and one’s personal Linked In profile. This writer dislikes being referred to as a hypocrite, preferring the term ‘shallow’ and being South Australian openly considers the rest of Australia to be filled with Convict Scum. Despite the pen name, Zeitungsdunkel cannot actually speak German, but once sat next to a phrase book that could.
  • clemilf

    There may be some truth in her parting shot re Fairfax in extremis

    • Bucky Redux

      Fairfax is a stinky leftist cesspool, used to be okay when it was actually owned by the Fairfax family, but their publications are all shitty click-bait sites now.

  • Doc79

    I see a Yumi, Clementine dream team in the offing. Maybe a weekly slot on The Project. Scratch that- their own show. Shit show.

    • Jamie Blank

      Maybe they could learn to code and build their own news website.

    • Jai_Normosone

      Channel 10 wouldn’t have them…too much competition for The Bowel Movement! (*oops* I mean, The Project)

  • Harry Stottle

    You say that “Bravery and stupidity are often the same thing”. They at least go hand in hand when you consider that some bloke actually banged that swamp donkey. Either brave, stupid or a full retard.

    • Jamie Blank

      Drunk is a fourth possibility, although, it’s a fine line between being that drunk and being able to get it up. Must have been a teenager.

    • Jai_Normosone

      Q. How do you get Clementine Ford pregnant?
      A. Drop a load in the gutter and let the blow-flies do the rest.

  • To be fair to her the mainstream media are dying and new media are rising so she’s off a sinking ship.

    She has a few hundred man haters handing her cash on Patreon, for now, so good riddance to her.

    She can stay in her little pig cave out of site and only a small number of people will give a shit about what she says.

    Good riddance.

    • thegentlemantroll

      Kinda like us really :p

    • thegentlemantroll

      But how much of a clue does she really have. This woman is not right in the head. The smart play would’ve been to get fired and claim compo.

    • Bumpstock

      Report her for hate speech on Patreon. No platform for Marxists.

  • clemilf

  • Jamie Blank

    The cow quit? If she’d hung around she’d have been paid out a redundancy package. After seven years that’d have to be worth something in the order of $50k, easy.

    Her side of the story smells like a big porky pie… or she really is stupid.

    • Bucky Redux

      I think she was just a contractor, so no juicy payout.

      • Doc79

        I give my opinions for free.

        • Bucky Redux

          me too

          • fimbulwinter

            #metoo

          • Bucky Redux

            lol, good one

  • fimbulwinter

    Learn to code pig! Best regards an unapologetic straight Christian white male who’s still employed.

  • Bucky Redux

    The sooner that ugly fat pig-bitch is memory holed, the better.

    • Jamie Blank

      Didn’t some poor sod knock a hole in her already?

      • Bucky Redux

        Some men will stick their dick in anything.
        Clem is a case in point.

        • Bumpstock

          So is last Saturday’s protests 😉

    • Jai_Normosone

      Kinda like Al Gore’s Man-Bear-Pig (from South Park) but doesn’t smell as nice nor look as good.

  • Maryanne

    Ford is so ignorant she wouldn’t understand the concept of respecting
    the office of the prime minister of Australia – which was the last straw for Fairfax. Poor old leftards are incapable of abstract thought. Everything is personal.

  • entropy

    It took a long time but commercial reality is starting to bite for the legacy media. They simply can’t afford to keep subsidising the batshit crazy rants of far left lunatics like Femintine Ford.

    Rather than take responsibility for her own self-destruction, she’ll pretend that she is unemployed by choice, but let there be no doubt that she was shown the door and a boot was used to squeeze her fat arse through it.

  • James

    Only looked her up because she was mentioned on this site.
    That was a waste of data.

  • Minging

    More time to torture her young son unfortunately. He doesn’t stand a chance of a normal upbringing unless he’s lucky enough someone calls social services.

    • Bumpstock

      Future serial killer or worse.

      • Minging

        Transsexual…

      • fimbulwinter

        I might not be so bad, what if he only targets homosexuals and feminists

  • Minging

    I love the fact the unfuckable demagogue (her Twitter intro) went out in a blaze of public vitriol. If the likes of the ever politically- regressing Fairfax now have cause to never give her air-time again… it’s one tick for humanity. Anyone want to lay a bet she’ll be getting more screen-time on the ABC?

  • clemilf

    Not witty, but an anagram :Corn Defilement

    • Jai_Normosone

      “Me in centerfold”???
      Of what?
      The Weekly Digest of Animal Husbandry for the Mentally Deficient?

  • Minging

    Even the sex-crazed Vanessa de Largie… a ‘real’ feminist (not man-hater) cannot stomach the unfuckable demagogue https://www.spectator.com.au/2019/02/clementine-ford-showing-off-again/

    • Bucky Redux

      The leftarded feminists are eating themselves….good.

  • fimbulwinter

    She will make a few special appearances on shows like the project over the next few months then fade off into oblivion like Yasmine Al Qaeda Magied.

    • Jamie Blank

      The good ones already do look down on her.

  • Bumpstock

    The fact this pigmonster had a paid gig disseminating hate speech at Fairfax proves everything that is wrong with the MSM in the first place. I swear “she” got to moderate her own stories. Good riddance. Thing is, there’s probably already contracts ready for her at the ABC or Guardian.

  • Minging