XYZ poll reveals world will not come to an end if ABC is privatised

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The latest XYZ Viewer Poll has determined that well over half of our readers believe that privatising the ABC will not trigger Armageddon.

imageIn response to the question, “Will the world come to an end if the ABC is privatised?” 59% responded to the option “No – The sun will rise tomorrow, people will go to work, love their families, and anyway, I can’t believe we’re still having this conversation. It’s time!” It is heartening to learn that so many people hold the progressive view that our nation can thrive without the ABC in public hands.

It is, after all, 2015.

This beat by a good margin those who answered “Yes! – It will dumb down the nation, promote delusional toxic crap, and kill Peppa the Pig!” (33%). Given that we also raised the possibility of nuclear war, climate change, eroding biodiversity, a zombie apocalypse and the seven plagues of Egypt should the ABC be privatised, it is safe to assume that this 33% of viewers truly believe that the world could end without a public broadcaster.

However, the editors at XYZ reserve most of their concern, and a good deal of chortling, for the 9% of viewers who believe that “Meh – The human race is a plague on the earth, and extinction is the only cure.”

Agent Smith is alive and well, it may seem.

 

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David Hiscox
David has studied history and political science at Melbourne University. His thesis was written on how the utilisation of Missile Defence can help to achieve nuclear disarmament. His interest in history was piqued by playing a flight simulator computer game about the Battle of Britain, and he hopes to one day siphon the earnings from his political writings into funding the greatest prog-rock concept album the world has ever seen.