Your tattoos are horrible


A reader asks for my opinion on tattoos.

“Tattoos.. what do you think of them? Is this an acceptable feature for the modern man?”

In a strange coincidence I had been contemplating a post on this topic only this week. Then I forgot about it, but now surreptitious chance has pushed it screaming to the fore for your benefit.

Let’s begin with the easy part of the question: tattoos on chicks.

Tattoos on hawt chicks are like shit smeared over an old master’s canvas in a real art gallery. The analogy is however not perfect because they can wipe off the shit and clean it up. I have never seen a tattoo on a girl that looks attractive, no matter how attractive the girl in question is. One of my friends is a tattoo fan on girls, (it takes all sorts), and he regularly posts photos on Facebook of hawt chicks with tattoos.

They are all, each and every one of them, spoiled goods. A young hawt chick with tattoos looks hot because of her youth and beauty, not her tattoos.

But tattoos have a recent benefit, since they became fashionable, of helping the modern man easily identify a woman who is prone to making poor choices. They are called ‘tramp stamps’ for a reason, sweeties. Thus as much as I deplore tattoos on women, I also am thankful for them for providing such an important service.

One day these chicks will be middle aged and then they will be middle aged chicks with tattoos. Which is akin to Saturday at school – no class.

Okay, so now on to the more interesting part of the topic which is tattoos on the modern man. It is important to note that the modern man is not a joiner, and nor is he a follower. The modern man also understands that something that is fashionable now will by its very definition not be fashionable at some point in the future. He also notes the permanent nature of tattoos, puts two and two together, and goes and has a nice glass of whiskey while his idiot peers run off and get tattoos.

The explosion in popularity of tattoos is directly linked to the incredible rise of narcissism in modern society. It is interesting to observe that the trend is becoming one of covering ones entire body from head to foot in ink, whereas before it would have been restricted to a few Dolphins on an ankle. As the total amount of individual skin available for tattooing is limited it is hard to see just where the next step on the narcissism train will lead.

In any case, modern tattoos are less about design, art and individuality as opposed to a gigantic dose of ‘look at me!’ This is beta behavior in a nutshell. The modern man is well aware that he lives in a society and that how he dresses and presents himself is extremely important.

“A man is a member of a tribe. You may believe that it does not matter how you dress, but it does. You may think that people should not judge by appearances, but they do. You might well consider yourself to be special and above the hierarchies of social status, but you are not.”

Tattoos are anathema to this ideal. Your tattoos do not define who you are but your proclivity to tattoo yourself does. As with women, ultimately a man who tattoos himself is a man who makes poor long term decisions and who is inconsiderate of those around him.

The modern man does not get tattooed.

Photo by efradera